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Monday May 29th 2006: Day 4 - Crossing the Border
Huge day - a classic example of Peako's remarkable grasp of numbers - this was meant to be one of our easier days, being a mere 94 miler; however, strangely it seemed to metamorphose into a monster consisting of 118miles and 8 and half hours of cycling...pleasant.

After about 25 miles of uphill struggles to start we were rewarded by an amusing stop in a particularly peculiar village called Sanquhar. The place and the people are straight out of 'The League of Gentleman' - certainly the strangest place we have been so far.

However, the good news is that we left Scotland behind today. As you have probably gathered by now, the weather, and the people have not been too kind to us in Scotland so we were very chuffed to see the border just outside Gretna.

Once we crossed the border, Smee suddenly became Lance Armstrong and pelted through into Carlsile at an average speed of 25mph - after an hour of this effective, but ruining, cycling, we were so pleased with the distance that we had covered that we decided to push on without eating to our B+B in Great Salkeld. Unfortunately, Great Salkeld seems to be in a little known Himalayan region in the Cumbrian borders. Horrendous hills kept on unfolding in front of us for the last 20 miles of the day which officially destroyed everyone to the point of delirium and uncontrollable laughing fits.

When we finally arrived at the B+B, it was an incredible pub called the Highland Drove. Amazing food and showers and Badge Cap Max to meet us at the door - the local character who clearly lives in the pub and likes to collect badges and fix them to his tweed cap - it's really good making polite conversation with a drunken nutter when you are absolutely knackered.

Injuries: Dan's knee begins to go.

Entry by Harry Escott

Sunday May 28th: Day 3 - Glencoe to Stonehouse "The hunt for Red Cleat/ Glasgow is great" Predicted distance: 95 miles

Today we woke up in Glencoe at about 6.45 with aching legs and stiff backs. Whooping Cough was already up and out of the room doing his morning mince. Escott was up getting Alpen muesli ready for our consumption, which we necked happily then set off for the days cycling.

We passed through the village on the way out of the glen - amazing scenery first thing in the morning - then spent the next hour climbing steadily out of the moor. Things were going fine, legs were warming up, people were steadily getting into things, when we had our first major technical hitch of the trip. James' cleats had been worn through to the point where they wouldn’t click into the pedals. This was a problem in that it basically made cycling on any terrain other than dead flat pretty much impossible. The solution was to find a bike shop asap. The nearest one was in Glasgow, which was a good 30 miles away. James had to make do until then.

Luckily the route out of the highlands was pretty much downhill the whole way. We started cruising and enjoying the sun, then the rains predictably started to pour, and we saw lots of roadkill. After about another 30 miles, we hit Loch Lomond - once again a very pleasant backdrop for a long cycling session. The roads however, weren’t the best so by the end of the Loch most of us were struggling with our backsides.

We decided to take a quick break just outside of Glasgow after nature's call got the better of Childs. After necking some more power bars, we descended onto Glasgow. Time for the tom tom navigator to come into its own. Glasgow was... pretty grim really after all the spectacular scenery we'd been getting used to. The locals didn’t seem too happy to see 5 guys in matching Soc Gen cycling outfits riding around their estates in formation. Not sure why.. We seemed to naturally pick up the pace around these most pleasant estates until finally, like a shining oasis, we found the bike shop, tucked away in an obscure shopping centre in the middle of nowhere. James went to get his bits sorted while the rest of us got stuck into Pizza Hut buffet. Note that we regretted this culinary choice later in the afternoon as our bodies tried to digest the 6 slices of pizza... didn’t make life easy.

James' new cleats seemed to do the trick - so much so that he couldn’t manage to release his shoes from the pedals when stopping for the first time - and ended up toppling over like a felled tree onto the path. Needless to say this provided the rest of us with much laughter and triggered a little bit of red mist in James' eyes... Not much more to say about Glasgow - other than we were pleased to be out of it finally as we climbed our way towards Penrith.

It took us about another 2 hours to get to Stonehouse - for the nights accommodation. To cut a long story short, we suddenly found that what should have been a 95 mile day turned out to be 116 miles, and this left everyone in a state of shock. Childs and Escott struggled with knee injuries and everyone slipped into a strange delirium. Finally we got to the hostel. To summarise – v. nice/ had a cat called "socks" and a very nice landlady.

Injury update:
Escott - 2 damaged knees
Childs - 1 damaged knee/ chest infection
Smee - 1 damaged knee

General Mood: Shocked / Delirous with tiredness

Entry by Matt Peakman

Saturday May 27th 2006: Day 2 - Alness to Glencoe - In search of Nessy
We awoke with sore and stiff limbs but the sun was shining and there seemed little wind. We were keen to crack on and get out and on the road. Sam decided to put some air in his tyres but his 'vigorous pumping action' popped his tyre thus the first puncture of the trip occurred. We cycled through a brisk but sunny Scottish countryside for the first 20 miles, my cycle rack decided to come lose on a consistent basis which caused a few annoying hold ups for the team but we sorted it with a piece of rubber that Dan pulled from somewhere on his being?!

After 20 miles we hit a horrendous slow climbing and steep hill that went on for about 2 miles. At this precise point the wind got out of bed for the morning and his pal 'the rain' got his act together. We continued to steadily climb in the rain but despite this we were still able to soak up some unbelievable scenery. By the stage of the trip inhibitions were thrown to one side and we regularly (once every 45 mins) stopped where ever we were to relieve ourselves on the side of the road. Cars beeped but we cared little as we had bigger fish/myths to fry... Nessy.

After 45 miles we'd climbed to a fair old height and the countryside became barren and harsh. There was no traffic as we cut ourselves through the highlands passing a number of lochs. After 55 miles we reached Loch Ness. After skirting its borders on a very busy and dangerous road (all we could do was deliriously laugh as driving rain and a 15 mph wind drove into our faces as HGV's passed 3cm from our bikes). We arrived at Urquart (?) Castle for a much needed stop. We'd been battered by the wind and rain 35 miles and had little patience. Therefore when the woman on the reception at the Castle refused to let us fill our water bottles up without paying £6 admission each we were all a little 'miffed'. In the end we bit the bullet and Peako sorted it all. We planned the woman’s demise for the following 20 miles as we climbed even higher into the mountains towards Ben Nevis and Fort William. We didn't see 'Nessy' although we've got a ridiculous photo of everyone pretending they did.

We arrived at Fort William looking like some weird ensemble of vagrants. Fort William is very high in the mountains. After 80 miles we needed some serious grub and proceeded to stuff our faces with anything and everything on the menu of an average eatery. We didn't care.

The last 20+ miles were long yet pleasant, the rain eased and we wound ourselves along to Glencoe Youth Hostel however we were yet again hustled as it transpired Glencoe Youth Hostel is 3 miles out of Glencoe. Cheers. Glencoe is a quintessential Highland village, set on the shores of a loch, through our bloodshot and weary eyes we could see it was a breathtaking place.

A word about the Hostel. Firstly the bloke who runs it is a complete ar*e who we'd like to round up with the woman from the Castle and have 'strong words' with. Secondly, it's grim, damp and has those showers that you have to press the button every 30 seconds to get going again. Just what you want after 104 miles on a bike. Arrggghhh. Finally, we had a room for 6, there are obviously 5 of us. The one other person in the room was a nice enough chap but he apparently had whooping cough or something similar. He proceeded to hack his way through the night and like a morning cockerel gone wrong hack his way though dawn. We never knew his name but he is now referred to as 'Whooping Cough Joe' for some reason.

Day Summary: 104 miles travelled. 13.8 mph average. 37mph max speed. 7hrs 10 mins on bikes. Started at 7.45 finished at 7.30.

Injury Update: Escott's knee(s) are shot to bits but somehow he's battling through the pain and managing to cycle with one leg at a time. Childs has some sort of eye infection and is using drops. He also has a chest infection. My right knee is starting to creak at the seams.

General Mood: Very tired and worse than the end of the first day.

Entry by James Smee

Friday May 26th 2006: Day 1
Deeee Wooon... (said in Big Brother narration voice) So we awoke at 6.45 this morning with the intention of getting on the road at 7.30. Harry brewed up some of his Harrow Special Breakfast. Warm porridge oats in water with a drop of cream.. mmm. Anyway we were all excited with the anticipation of starting on our little mission. That enthusiasm was quickly snuffed out with the realisation that we had a 3.5 mile ride to John O Groats proper. So anyway we got on our bikes for the first time since arriving in Scotland and headed over along the coast the the start.

John O Groats itself isn't much in the way of interest - a couple of shops and houses and that's about it. We wandered around by the sea trying to work out where we should have our official starting photo taken. As it happens, the official signpost that you see on all the postcards (the one with arrows pointing to various parts of Britain) wasnt going to be put up until later that morning and we'd have to pay some local photographer £15 for the pleasure. So instead we just lined up at the "official" start line - i.e. a big white line around the back of a pub with START in big white letters. We grabbed some poor woman having an early morning walk with her dog to take some photos of us in our Soc Gen pro tops and shorts. Unphased she wilfully took a couple of saucy pictures of our behinds as we set off on the first day.

The first 20 miles went very quickly. With the combination of our excitment and fresh legs, the miles flew by. We hit the coastline pretty early on and stayed there for most of the day. Then the sun came out and Smee got right in the mood by singing his own special Scottish folk songs. These usually consisted of 2 lines constantly repeated in a high pitched "banshi" tone. "Well the wind bloows Hiieeegh and the wind blooows looow"... etc etc was one that particularly ticked all the boxes for high class entertainment. After mile 35 our enthusiasm was quashed by our first dose of the prevailing south to north wind and rain combo. This perfectly complimenting weather pattern was to be the main theme of the day. Not much to be said about it other than it requires about 20% more energy to maintain the same speed. So we got on with the task of getting our heads down and pushing on... It's also worth mentioning that we had to do several severely long and steep hills which took a lot out of everyone. The majority of the grunt work of sitting at the front on the bike and acting as a shield was picked up by Sam and Smee with some token contribution from Childs and Escott. Peako hid at the back of the platoon avoiding the front at all costs. His later comments on how fresh he felt were noted (only kidding Peako)...

We soon realised the importance of good food and drink. Sam C came up trumps with a little known energy bar and drink called "Growling Dog" which we gratefully necked. We noted that the drink was not to be given to anyone under 15 (!!).

Eventually we ended up in our destination of Alness after a gruelling stretch on the A9 - which should be re-classed as a motorway as soon as possible. Needless to say, we weren't too popular with the local traffic.

Anyway, the East Coast of Scotland provided us with plenty of amazing scenery to keep us interested.

Hard first day, hard conditions but at least it's done. We're now glad to see the back of John O'Groats. 8 days to go...

Day complete: 106miles done, 14.4mph average, 35mph max speed, 6hrs 50mins on the bikes (approx).

Entry by Dan Childs

Thursday May 25th 2006: The Journey
We all descended on Dan's house on the Wednesday night in Dulwich in order to prepare ourselves, the kit and the bikes. The latter proved to be a nightmare and we had to disassemble each one to fit into bike boxes so we could get them on the flight up to Inverness. The boxes were small and our bikes were big. After much 'faffing about' we finished at 2 in the morning - not ideal preparation. We awoke at 8 the next day and carried out some final checks and bought the last of our provisions. Next we carted our cardboard boxes and luggage onto the train to get to Gatwick for the flight. Not the smoothest of operations as you can imagine. Anyway by hook and by crook we got checked in and managed a cheeky couple of beers before flying up to Inverness which alarmingly took 1hr 45mins - Inverness wasn't close..

We landed in Inverness at 4.30 and were picked up by our hired mini bus. We were then shocked to see a sign as we left the airport for John O'Groats and it read 145 miles. Where was this place? 3 hrs later we rock up at our Youth Hostel and despite it claiming to be in John O'Groats it was in actual fact 3 miles away. Like we didn't have far enough to cycle already. John O'groats was desolate yet beautiful, you could clearly see the Orkney Islands on what was a cold yet clear night. We unpacked and reassembled the bikes which again wasn't a smooth operation. Apart from Czerps none of us no a thing about the technical side to bikes. Dan cooked up a delicious carbonara and we hit the sack at 10 in order to get a good nights sleep in for the big kick off the following day...

Entry by James Smee

Monday May 15th 2006: Dress Rehearsal
Myself, Peako and Czerps (Dan was ill with flu and Harry unavailable) decided to replicate as closely as possible what the ride’s going to be like. Therefore on Saturday morning at 8.15 we set off from Newbury on a 101 mile trip to Somerset with a view to doing the return leg on the Sunday.

Things didn’t get off to a great start when I checked the weather forecast in the morning and it said there was a 14mph easterly wind and we were heading directly West. Lovely - sod’s law the weather forecast stayed true to its word for the first time in modern history and we were battling with the wind from the off. However, we formed a tight pack and took turns to act as a ‘human windbreak’ which meant we kept up a good pace. We didn’t legislate however for my tyre being threadbare and parts of my inner tube being exposed – needless to say I had 3 punctures during the day. The worst case being as we entered Frome on a busy road and at that same time the heavens opened. We then proceeded to mend the bike on the roadside in the pouring rain much to the amusement of the passing motorists… you can imagine we found it less than humorous.

We all hit a ‘wall’ at 60 miles on a particularly nasty slow climbing and seemingly endless lane however we came out the other side and pushed on to have lunch at 71 miles. The remaining 30 miles after lunch weren’t too unpleasant and our bodies responded well to having some decent grub in them, on top of this the clouds cleared and we had a bit of sun to see us home in time for the last half of extra time of the FA Cup Final. All in all it took us 6hrs 25 mins of actual cycling time and around 9hrs in total with breaks, punctures repairs etc. Average speed 15.8 mph. Max speed 35mph.

The next day we arose at 7 got back on the bikes for 7.45. To say it was ‘unpleasant’ to rest our posteriors back on the saddles would be a huge understatement. There were numerous cries of discomfort as we all mounted the bikes and set off on the return leg. However, after 10 miles we’d all loosened up and without any wind and the sun in a cloudless sky we progressed through to 25 miles without incident - that was until punctures 4 & 5 happened in the space of 2 minutes. After replacing the inner tube we surveyed the damage and debated what to do with a tyre that clearly wasn’t up to the task. Sam was holding the offending tyre next to his head and pointing at the exposed inner tube (the new one) and explained ‘you can see here that even the slightest abrasion or pressure…’ at this point the inner tube exploded in his hands with a loud ‘pop’. Sam lost his hearing for 30 minutes. Using their apparent knowledge of ‘Scrapheap Challenge’ Sam and Peako cut up a piece of used inner tube and glued it to the inside of the tyre as a means of ingenious improvisation. The tyre held for the rest of the journey.

To cut a long story short we arrived back in the Newbury at 4 o clock, very, very tired, sun burnt, aching from head to toe and extremely sweaty. It took us 5hrs 55mins to cover the 101 miles and we averaged 16.6mph.

This trip opened our eyes (wide) to the sorts of physical and mental experiences we can expect on the actual trip... however we did prove it's possible!

Entry by James Smee

Tuesday May 9th 2006: THE LAST FEW MONTHS - UPDATE We've been pretty slack in updating the site with how we’ve been progressing since January but hopefully this entry will fill in the blanks.

Training: Because the team is split geographically between Newbury and London we’ve tended to train in isolation of one another – or not at all. Peako and Childs have managed to put in some decent rides on a relatively consistent basis. Czerpak has done some extensive solo trips with supplementary exercise bike workouts in front of Eastenders. I had a relapse of 7 weeks without doing anything but scared myself into getting out recently and have done some reasonable solo trips. Escott has been focussing on getting married and as a result has had the least amount of ‘saddle time’. He will therefore be relying upon his bizarrely huge calf muscles and iron lungs to get him through the trip.

Myself, Peako and Czerpak and are doing a 110 mile a day trip to Somerset this weekend across the Saturday and Sunday- our biggest test to date!

Lessons Learnt: Carry spare inner tubes!! I had a double puncture (front and back tires) travelling at 35mph travelling down a hill somewhere in the middle of the Sussex countryside. As I was at the back of the group no one heard my screams, after walking for 2 miles the group returned and Childs spent 45 minutes attempting to repair the inner tubes with a puncture repair kit, in his words ‘I will not be beaten’. Needless to say I was on a train back to London soon after.

Cycling’s not really that fun: I think we’ve all arrived at this conclusion over the past few months. I think we underestimated how hard and time intensive it would be. We’ve had to give up our weekends in order to subject ourselves to hours of solitude and pretty gruelling physical exercise. I for one have been sat on my bike in the middle of the Wiltshire countryside at 9.30 on a Saturday morning swearing at the birds in frustration as I’ve daydreamed about watching Soccer A.M with a full English fry up!

2 WEEKS TO GO! Entry by James Smee

Saturday Jan 28th 2006: Still Learning. It's cold but it's bright. The sun is out and there is no rain forecast, so the prospect of a few laps around Richmond Park seems really quite 'pleasant' - in relative terms of course.

Again it's just the four of us. Mr Escott, still a JoGLE training ride virgin, is the absentee.

We set off at approximately 11am, at a reasonably good pace. Dan and Peako almost looking like pro's on their scarily shiny new bikes and wearing their crisp new kit. Peako in his figure hugging black cycling tights and gore-tex 'wind-cheater'. Dan in his Michael Jackson styled leisure wear. Czerpy in a mish-mash of cycling tights, boardies and rugby kit. A cross between a courier and a hobo. Finally Smee, using his bright yellow football socks, pulled all the way over his knees in a Thierry Henry style, as means to combat the January chill.

The constant change in incline and biting wind made the 7 mile lap a tough route. But in the manner in which we mean to continue, we set about beating the Park into submission.

A good 5 laps ensued until Czerpy, struggling to keep his modified mountain bike in touch with the rapid road bikes, dropped off the pace. A well earned break, with warming tea, lemon cake and the odd sight of athletic females giving the team the boost they needed. Another 4 laps (3 for the hobo) were notched up. This time the finish was strong and Smee wasn't feeling feint.

At the end of the ride, with over 60 miles completed and around 70,000 calories consumed, the enormity of the challenge ahead is only too apparent.

But it's early days….

Entry by Sam Czerpak

Saturday Jan 7th 2006: The first training session. 41 mile route starting from my (Smee) house in the centre of Newbury out to the surrounding villages, countryside and back again. Dan and Peako come down from London, Czerps from Hungerford. Harry unavailable due to being in India!

Dan arrives worse for wear from the night before and with a mountain bike from the early 90's called the 'Rockhopper'. It weighs more than him and has buckled wheels that border on being square, he claims 'it will be alright'. Inside the first 5 miles of the ride Dan is over 1/3 of a mile behind... the Rockhopper and the night before is taking it's toll.

Both me and Peako help out and take turns on the Rockhopper to give Dan a break. The day progresses relatively well. The going begins to get tough after 30 miles and everyone begins to feel it. Our bodies aren't used to cycling this distance and it quickly takes its toll, everyone's legs lose the ability to recover after a number of punishing hills. The Rockhopper is cursed on a regular basis. Peako gets a puncture on the home stretch but we all manage to finish and get back to my house by dusk.

Over a few beers in the evening everyone is exhausted. There is a stark realisation that cycling 110 miles a day is going to be an extremely difficult thing to do. However, after a few more beers confidence is restored.